From:	Arik Kalininsky [SMTP:arik@array.ca]
Sent:	Tuesday, September 15, 1998 11:57 AM
To:	Victor  Shimla
Subject:	Have some fun !!! (fwd)

THE TOP 22 POLITICALLY CORRECT WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID.

22)  A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
21)  The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
20)  Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
19)  He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way
down.
18)  Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
17)  Forgot to pay his brain bill.
16)  A few clowns short of a circus.
15)  If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
14)  Too much yardage between the goal posts.
13)  An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
12)  A few beers short of a six-pack.
11)  A few peas short of a casserole.
10)  Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
9)  One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
8)  One taco short of a combination plate.
7)  A few feathers short of a whole duck.
6)  Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
5)  An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
4)  As smart as bait.
3)  His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
2)  Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
1)  Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of
Six" in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party.  The man decides that it's time to go
home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.  He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
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Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
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The Frog
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend a pet. After looking
around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. A
clerk
came up and asked if there's something he could help her with. "I
wanted to
buy my boyfriend a pet, but all of yours are so expensive!" She says.
"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for
$50.00.
Would you like to see it?" "$50.00?? For a Frog??" said the woman. The
clerk said, "It's a special frog. It's gives blowjobs." So, the woman
decides to buy the frog. She takes it home to her boyfriend, explains
the
strange gift frog, and they're both happy. The woman goes to bed.
Around
two in the morning, she wakes up to hear pots and pans banging around
in
the kitchen. She gets up to go see what's going on and when she gets
to
the kitchen she sees her boyfriend and the frog, sitting at the
kitchen
table like best buddies, looking through cookbooks.
"What are you two doing looking through cookbooks at this hour?" says
the woman.
The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to
cook,
your are out of here!!!"
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A woman is picked up in a bar by Dennis Rodman, the famous basketball
player, known for the wildly changing color and style of his hair.
They liked each other and the women went back with him to his hotel
room.
He removed his shirt revealing all of his tattoos and she saw that on
his
right arm  was a tatoo which said, "Reebok".
She thought that was a bit odd and asked him about it.
Rodman responded, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the
tattoo and  Reebok pays me for advertisement."
A bitlater, his pants came off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his
leg.
He gave the same explanation for the unusual tattoo.
Finally, his underwear came off and the woman screamed and ran to
the corner of the room.
Rodman said, "What's wrong?"
The woman remained quiet and just pointed at the tatoo on his penis
which read "AIDS" . Finally she said, "I'm not going to do it with a
guy who has AIDS!"
He said, "It's cool baby, don't worry, in a minute it's going
to say "ADIDAS".
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I've heard a good number of very valid reasons for drinking beer, but
the 
one that takes the cake is called the "Buffalo Theory".
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and
when 
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back
that are 
killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,

because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by 
the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the 
slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills
off 
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells 
first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker

brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient 
machine.  The results of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies
and 
validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and engineering 
performance.  It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving

university and getting married, most engineers cannot keep up with the

performance of the new graduates.  Only those few that stick to the
strict 
regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the
intellectual 
levels that they achieved during their university years.  So, this is
a 
call to arms.  As our country is losing its technological edge we
should 
not shudder in our homes.  Get back into the bars!  Quaff that pint!
Your 
company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't
deny 
yourself the career that you could have.
Be all that you can be!