From:	Andy Schipper 
Sent:	Wednesday, August 05, 1998 9:13 AM
To:	Victor  Shimla
Subject:	FW: 

                              Beer Ocean 
  Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the 
  middle of the ocean.  They managed to inflate a rubber life raft
and 
  grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the
surface. 
  After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food
and 
  water.  On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat,
thirst 
  and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them
in the water.
  As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an oil
lamp 
  (the kind the genies come in).  They grabbed the lamp and rubbed
it. 
  "POOF" out popped a tired old genie who said "ok.. so you freed me
  from this stupid lamp, yadda, yadda, yadda. But hey, I've been
doing 
  this 3 wishes stuff for a long time now and quite frankly, I'm
burned out. 
  You guys get only ONE wish and then I'm OUTTA here.  Make it a
good one".
  The first guy, without hesitation or thought blurted out, "Give us
all
  the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!!!" 
  "Fine" said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean
into beer.
  "Great move Einstein!" said the second guy, slapping the first guy
in 
   the head.  "NOW we're gonna have to piss in the BOAT!"

A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he found the CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left.
Can you make this thing work?
"Certainly," said the young executive.   He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside
the machine.  "I just need one copy."