Ä Area: N-COMEDY ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 449                                          Date: 04-16-94  12:01
  From: Rudy Boghina                                 Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: Chicken Philosophy.  2/ 3
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Continued from previous message.


Werner Heisenberg:  "We are not sure which side of the road the chicken 
                    was on, but it was moving very fast." 

Ernest Hemingway:  "To die.  In the rain."

Adolf Hitler:  "It needed Lebensraum."

David Hume:  "Out of custom and habit."

Saddam Hussein:  "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
                 justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."

Lee Iacocca: "It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road."

John Paul Jones:  "It has not yet begun to cross!"

James Joyce:  "Once upon a time, a nicens little chicken named baby tuckoo
               crossed the road and met a moocow coming down... "

James Joyce:  "To forge in the smithy of its soul the uncreated conscience 
              of its race."

Immanuel Kant:  "Because it was a duty."

Martin Luther King:  "It had a dream."

James Tiberius Kirk:  "To boldly go where no chicken has gone before."

Jacques Lacan:  "Because of its desire for *object a*."

Stan Laurel:  "I'm sorry, Ollie.  It escaped when I opened the run."

Leda:  "Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken?  He's into 
       that kind of thing, you know."

Gottfried Von Leibniz:  "In this best possible world, the road was made 
                         for it to cross."

H. P. Lovecraft:  "To escape the eldritch, cthonic, rugose, polypous,
                  indescribably horrible abomination not from our space-time 
                  continuum."

Paul de Man:  "The chicken did not really cross the road because one side 
              and the other are not really opposites in the first place."

Paul de Man (uncovered after his death):  "So no one would find out it 
            wrote for a collaborationist Belgian newspaper during the early 
            years of World War II."

Groucho Marx:  "Chicken?  What's all this talk about chicken?  Why, I had 
                an uncle who thought he was a chicken.  My aunt almost 
                divorced him, but we needed the eggs."

Karl Marx:  "To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle."

Gregor Mendel:  "To get various strains of roads."

John Milton:  "To justify the ways of God to men."

Moses:  "Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed 
        the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for 
        its own preservation."

Alfred E. Neumann:  "What? Me worry?"

Newton:  "Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest.  Chickens in motion tend 
         to cross the road."

Jack Nicholson: "'Cause it (censored) wanted to!! That's the (censored) 
                reason!!"

Camille Paglia:  "It was drawn by the subconscious cathonian power of the
                 feminine which men can never understand, to cross the road 
                 and focus itself on its task.  Hens are not capable of 
                 doing this-their minds do not work that way.  Feminism 
                 tries vainly to pretend there is no real difference between 
                 them, falsely following Rousseau. But de Sade has proved."
                 Thomas Paine:  "Out of common sense."

Michael Palin:  "Nobody expects the banished inky chicken!"

Wolfgang Pauli:  "There already was a chicken on the other side of the road."

Pyrrho the Skeptic:  "What road?"

J. Danforth Quayle:  "Ite sawe ae potatoee."

Ayn Rand:  "It was crossing the road *because of its own rational choice 

 Continued in next message.

 * My Borg is back, and there's gonna be trouble. Hey la...
-!-
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