From:	Anthony Morris [SMTP:amorris@idirect.com]
Sent:	Thursday, October 15, 1998 10:49 AM
To:	Victor  Shimla; ted; sara; dad
Subject:	Fw: More Clinton

Clinton hee haws

Q: What do Lucille Ball and Monica Lewinsky have in common?
A: They both had sex with a Cuban.

Q: Heard about Hillary's new book?
A: It's called "It takes a village to satisfy the president."

Q: Bill Clinton wouldn't be in this mess if Monica Lewinsky wasn't
hard of hearing.
A: All he said was "hold my calls and sack the cook"

While reviewing their trial transcripts, Monica asked Paula Jones
if her
experience with Clinton was similar to hers. Paula replied,
"Close, but no cigar!"

Q:  What did Bill Clinton say to the new intern?
A: "Say, I haven't come across your face here before!"

Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of
us?
A: To get some dick in the White House, we just voted.

Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?
A: The President after Bush.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House,
the
other is a chocolate Lab.

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: Don't hit your head on the desk.

Q: What did Ms. Lewinsky allegedly say when offered a position at
the UN?
A: Would that, then, be a "missionary position?"

Q: What does the band now play when Clinton enters the room?
A: Kneel to the Chief.

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on
President's day?
A: All pants half off.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
A: They both blew the big one several times.

Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?
A: The Executive Branch.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Soda Pop machines have in common?
A: They both have slots which say "Insert 'Bill" here."

Q: What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?
A: This time we know who deep throat is.

Q: What's the recipe for Clinton stew?
A: A small weenie in hot water.

Q: What are the ingredients for the new, improved Clinton stew:
A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans
and
hot water.

Q: What did Monica say when she finally met Hillary?
A: I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your husband down.

Q: What did Clinton say when asked if he had used protection?
A: "Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door."

Q: Do you know why Bill Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?
A: Because he likes to bend pages.

Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws in-terns.

Q: How do you know Bill Clinton is done having sex?
A: You have to wipe the "White-Water" off your blouse......

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard
Nixon,
and
Bill Clinton?
A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth,
and
Clinton doesn't know the difference.

Q: What do Bill Clinton and Disney have in common?
A: Disney has a movie called the Lion King, while Bill Clinton is
the
Lyin' King.