Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 1123                                         Date: 04-25-93  16:24
  From: Janusz Ziemianski                            Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: BRANCH DAVIDIAN JOKES   1
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Here are some Branch Davidian/David Koresh Jokes.  They are a little on 
the offensive side.  So don't read on if you are easily offended.

What does Waco stand for?
What a cook out!

What do you call a Branch Davidian with a fire extinguisher?
A heretic.

What do you call a Scientologist with a flamethrower?
A copycat.

Q: Why did the compound in Waco burn to the ground?
A: They couldn't put out the fire with their Kool Aid. (tm)

Did you hear that David Koresh was a closeted gay?
He was flaming, but he didn't come out.

Q:  Why don't we have more prophets like David Koresh?
A:  It's such a high stress job that burnout is almost inevitable.

The events in Waco could have been foreseen, had anyone in the FBI understood
that David Koresh was encapsulating Jewish history.

First they re-enacted Passover, then there was the re-enactment of the
Warsaw ghetto uprising.

The Branch Davidian Church has split into two sects:
Orthodox and Extra-Crispy.

NBC found a sponsor for the David Koresh mini-series:
Weber Barbecues, Inc.

Q: What was the most popular name for Branch Davidian children?
A: Ashley.

Q: How can we avoid future tragedies like the Waco conflagration?
A: Strict OSHA standards requring automatic sprinkler systems for
   all cult compounds that accomodate 50 or more fanatics.

Q: What was David Koresh's favorite breakfast cereal?
A: Crispy Critters!

Q: How is Waco like a Snickers bar?
A: Roasted nuts.

After the tragedy at Mt. Carmel on Monday, the Branch Davidians
will be holding a bar-b-que to attract new members.

Q: How did David Koresh find out he was Jesus Christ?
A: God spoke to him through a burning buiding.

I finally learned from a coworker what WACO stood for:
We All Cooked Ourselves

What do you get when you cross David Koresh & Jeffrey Dahmer?
Brunch Davidian (barbeque naturally).

Q: Why is Al Gore so upset with the Branch Davidians?
A: Because of their contribution to global warming.

Q: Did you hear that David Koresh lost his job as the second messiah?
A: He got fired.

Q: Did you hear about the tragedy at Waco?
A: Evidently an NBC News crew was trying to move in for a close-up...

Q: Did you know that Ranch Apocalypse had an Internet connection?
A: Yes, and Koresh's last news post started: "Feel free to flame me, but..."

I bet the Branch Davidians were really surprised when they
woke up in Hell.

WACO:  We're A Combustible Organization

NBC announced plans for a new show this fall that essentially revives 
an old show: "The FBI".
Scripts are only now being worked on, but the theme music for the show 
has already been decided:
    "We didn't start the fire..."

Well, David Koresh is going to go down in the annals of psychiatric history.
He's the first person ever to have a 1400 acre Messiah complex.

I can't believe that the FBI, with all its resources, didn't know what
would happen once they sent the tanks in.  After all, even a first-year 
medical student knows that a compound fracture is always followed by an 
inflammation.

How do you pick up a Branch Davidian woman?
With a dust-buster

What did God say to David Koresh when he met him?
Well done.

What is the new Branch Davidian holiday?
Ash Monday.

From the blackened hills of Apocalypse Ranch . . .      WACO CRISPS (tm)
ś
Continued in the next message...
-!-
 ž 1st 1.10b #841 ž You've got to have an ace in the hole.
 ž RoseMail 2.10į: <NANET 60/44/01> Sasquatch, Terrace, BC 604-635-2184

Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 1124                                         Date: 04-25-93  16:24
  From: Janusz Ziemianski                            Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: BRANCH DAVIDIAN JOKES   2
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Continued from the previous message...
ś

Tangy Self-Fried Zealots            _Now flavored with spicy pepper gas!_

Waco Crisps (tm) . . . a tempting taste-treat containing a healthy blend of
gun nuts, battered and smoked kid, and chunks of genuine imitation Lamb of
God.

Another quality snack the makers of MOVEable Feasties and Jonestown Jambalaya.

               Janusz Ziemianski
-!-
 ž 1st 1.10b #841 ž You've got to have an ace in the hole.
 ž RoseMail 2.10į: <NANET 60/44/01> Sasquatch, Terrace, BC 604-635-2184