From npa38@kwom.com Mon Dec 15 09:21:56 1997 Date: Mon, 29 Sep 1997 15:50:18 -0600 From: "Archbold, Norma" Reply-To: betar@virtual.co.il To: UnOfficial Betar Discussion List Subject: Humor Thought you might enjoy the following. Norma EURO-ENGLISH The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase- in plan that would be known as Euro-English. In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivel servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgraseful and it should go away. By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru !! THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG - Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. - Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. - When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. - When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. - Let others know when they've invaded your territory. - Take naps and stretch before rising. - Run, romp and play daily. - Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. - Be loyal. - Never pretend to be something that your not. - If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. - When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently. - Thrive on attention and let people touch you. - Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. - On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree. - When your're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. - No matter how often your're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout....run right back and make friends. - Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. ------------------------------------------------------------- We'll Pay You to Place Your Site on Virtual Jerusalem! Details at www.virtual.co.il. -------------------------------------------------------------