Ä Area: N-COMEDY ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Msg#: 778 Date: 05-03-94 20:26 From: Doug Ward Read: Yes Replied: No To: All Mark: Subj: Gags /3 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ You can do this to a business associate whom you think is a jerk: Get a few copies of his business card. Hopefully, it has his home phone number on it. Go to your local red-light district and pass them out to the girls (or guys) saying "Call me some time." This is most effective if he has a family. If he is single, he may want to thank you. ********* My father loves to tell of the builder he knows who had to evict some guy from one of his rental houses. It seems the renter left his pet in the master bedroom. A duck with lots of food and water... The builder didn't get around to checking out the house for about a week. Yech. Needless to say, the not only the carpet needed replacement, but the sub-floor also. ********* Apparently there is a well-known story in the television industry about the early days, when parts were scarce and 'friendly competition' was just be- ginning between the networks. There was going to be an important speech by someone important, probably President Eisenhower or someone of that stature. Naturally, all (both?) of the networks wanted to cover this speech. But on the day of the speech, the tube in NBC's camera went dead. There was no hope to order a replacement in time, so the NBC brass called the CBS brass to ask if they could borrow a tube until they could get a replacement (maybe they borrowed a whole camera, I don't know). At any rate, the good-natured guys at CBS said sure, they would deliver a tube to them in plenty of time for the speech. Well they DID loan NBC a tube, but not before setting it up in a camera and focusing it on the brightly lit door to the men's room. To understand what happened, you must realize that these early "image-orthicon" tubes were ex- tremely sensitive. So sensitive in fact, that a bright unchanging image would "burn-in" to the face of the tube and remain for hours, or even permanently if the damage was severe enough. So to make a long story even longer, when NBC brodcasted the speech, the president appeared with "MEN" emblazoned across his forehead. Of course they discovered it much too late to do anything about it (this was live TV, folks). (This was a story I heard from someone who worked at a CBS affiliate TV station and may or may not be true, or the networks involved may be wrong.) ********* A little gentler trick that a co-worker pulled up here a few years ago depended on the sound module from one of those dolls that cries unless you rock it back and forth. He fastened it to the bottom of someone's chair. The someone comes and sits down, and starts working on his terminal. As he gets into it, this vague "wa-wa" noise starts up from some unidentifiable direction. The victim looks around (moving the chair) and the crying stops. Oh, well, who cares. Back to work. A little later, the crying starts up again. This one was good for several minutes. Oh yes, someone mentioned freon bombs. Things can get hairy with those around a power supply design group. And the following is a good way to make a switcher designer an enemy for life - or a few days, at least: -=- | AmiQWK 2.2 | Proctologists say Grin and Bear it! -=- EzyQwk V1.02 ! Origin: Satellite Connection BBS 707-426-4883 (1:161/607) * SLMR 2.1a * McBorg - Over 50 billion assimilated! -!- ž JNet 1.20į1 ž NaNet -41/62/31- TEST PATTERN - Mississauga ON - 905-890-2531