Ä Area: N-COMEDY ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 779                                          Date: 05-03-94  20:26
  From: Doug Ward                                    Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: Gags /4
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

 A few months ago I was flying down to L.A. from San Francisco with
a friend.  He had stayed up too late the night before and promptly fell
fast asleep as soon as we were airborne.  The airline magazines soon
paled, so I looked around for some way to entertain myself until we
reached L.A.
I went up the steward and asked if I could borrow one of the oxygen masks
that they use in their little speech just before take-off.  He looked
puzzled and said that they didn't work and were just for demonstration.
I said I didn't care, and much to my surprise, he gave it to me.
 I took it back to my seat, put it on, and strung the hose to the
up just above my head.  Then I reached down and shook my friend
furiously.  As he groggily woke up, I yelled,
 "Quick, put on your mask, we're falling fast!"

 The look on his face was pretty classic!
 Interestingly enough, he didn't fall back asleep on the plane.

*********

This is a simple, harmless, and hilarious practical joke, that has claimed
me as a victim.  The setting is a pool hall, bar, or anyplace else with a
pool (billiards) table.  Place any ball at one end of the table and give
your victim the cue ball.  Challenge the victim to focus on the cue ball
while walking around the pool table three times.  At the end of the third
time, the victim is to place the cue ball on the table, take a cue stick
and hit the cue ball so that it stikes the ball at the other end of the
table.  This is very difficult to do; not because of a loss of coordination
from walking and staring at the ball, but because while the victim is
concentrating on the ball, you lick your finger and wipe chalk off the end
of the cue stick.  The victim will miscue almost every time.  It gets
funnier, because if the victim is like me,  he/she will be determined and
try it again.

*********

Speaking of fun practical jokes with a car, I have a couple of
interesting ones.

1) Give the victims car an oil change, to 70 wieght oil.  This should
work very well in places where it gets cold because when it is cold
enough, the oil should more resemble a brick the oil, and the car should
be unable to crank.  I wonder how long it would take even a good
mechanic to figure out what has been done.

2) A Classic.  Stones in the hubcaps.  If done correctly, the driver
will hear something rattling in the hupcaps and check to see if it is
the wheel nuts, finding nothing, they will continue , only to hear the
sound again.

3) When expressway driving becomes boring.  This trick is been done with
a radar detector and a very fast (looking) car.  While driving on the
expressway, look for a fast car that looks like it may not have a radar
detector.  Accelerate hard to about 70 and see if the other car follows.
If it does, bring your car up as fast as you feel safe and pretend to be
racing him.  This should get the other car's driver to start going very
fast.  Continue this "race" until you come on a turn or hill.  After
going through the turn, hit your brakes hard and bring the car to
exactly 55.00 mph.  The effect is to make every one on the road start
doing 55.00 because they assume that if you are going that fast, you must
have a radar detector, and it must have just gone off.  (I hope I don't
need to mention the illigalities with this joke, and the need for a
radar detector.)


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