Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 1935                                         Date: 07-16-93  15:03
  From: Rudy Boghina                                 Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: The Holy Grail....   1/12
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

     Awright, here it is, in all its splendor.....


                         "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The Cast (in order of appearance [roughly]):
     KING ARTHUR : Graham Chapman
     PATSY : Terry Gilliam
     GUARD #1 : Michael Palin
     GUARD #2 : John Cleese
     MORTICIAN :  Eric Idle
     CUSTOMER :  John Cleese
     DEAD PERSON :  ???
     DENNIS :  Michael Palin
     WOMAN :  Terry Jones
     BLACK KNIGHT : John Cleese (?)
     VILLAGER #1 : Eric Idle
     VILLAGER #2 : Michael Palin
     SIR BEDEMIR : Terry Jones
     WITCH : ???
     VILLAGER #3 : John Cleese
     NARRATOR:  Michael Palin
     SIR LAUNCELOT : John Cleese
     SIR GALAHAD : Michael Palin
     SIR ROBIN : Eric Idle
     GOD : ???
     FRENCH GUARD : John Cleese
     MINSTREL : ???
     LEFT HEAD : Terry Jones
     MIDDLE HEAD : Graham Chapman
     RIGHT HEAD : Michael Palin
     OLD MAN : Terry Gilliam
     HEAD KNIGHT OF NEE : Michael Palin
     FATHER : Michael Palin
     PRINCE HERBERT : Terry Jones
     GUARD #1 : Eric Idle
     GUARD #2 : ???
     CONCORDE : Eric Idle
     OLD CRONE : ???
     ROGER (THE SHRUBBER) : Eric Idle
     TIM (THE ENCHANTER):  John Cleese
     BROTHER MAYNARD:  Eric Idle
     SECOND BROTHER:  Michael Palin

 Scene 1

     [wind]
     [clop clop]
 ARTHUR:  Whoa there!
     [clop clop]

 GUARD #1:  Halt!  Who goes there?
 ARTHUR:  It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
     of Camelot.  King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign
     of all England!
 GUARD #1:  Pull the other one!
 ARTHUR:  I am.  And this my trusty servant Patsy.
     We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
     who will join me in my court of Camelot.  I must speak with your lord
     and master.
 GUARD #1:  What, ridden on a horse?
 ARTHUR:  Yes!
 GUARD #1:  You're using coconuts!
 ARTHUR:  What?
 GUARD #1:  You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'
     'em together.
 ARTHUR:  So?  We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
     land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
 GUARD #1:  Where'd you get the coconut?
 ARTHUR:  We found them.
 GUARD #1:  Found them?  In Mercea?  The coconut's tropical!
 ARTHUR:  What do you mean?
 GUARD #1:  Well, this is a temperate zone.
 ARTHUR:  The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
     or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
     strangers to our land.
 GUARD #1:  Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
 ARTHUR:  Not at all, they could be carried.
 GUARD #1:  What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
 ARTHUR:  It could grip it by the husk!
 GUARD #1:  It's not a question of where he grips it!  It's a simple
     question of weight ratios!  A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound
     coconut.
 ARTHUR:  Well, it doesn't matter.  Will you go and tell your master
     that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
 GUARD #1:  Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
     needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
 ARTHUR:  Please!
 GUARD #1:  Am I right?

 Continued in next message.

 *  "And now, for something completely different..."
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