Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 1936                                         Date: 07-16-93  15:03
  From: Rudy Boghina                                 Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: The Holy Grail....   2/12
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Continued from previous message.

 ARTHUR:  I'm not interested!
 GUARD #2:  It could be carried by an African swallow!
 GUARD #1:  Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
     swallow, that's my point.
 GUARD #2:  Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
 ARTHUR:  Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
     at Camelot?!
 GUARD #1:  But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
 GUARD #2:  Oh, yeah...
 GUARD #1:  So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
     [clop clop]
 GUARD #2:  Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
 GUARD #1:  No, they'd have to have it on a line.
 GUARD #2:  Well, simple!  They'd just use a standard creeper!
 GUARD #1:  What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
 GUARD #2:  Well, why not?

 Scene 2

 MORTICIAN:  Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
     [clang]
     Bring out your dead!
 CUSTOMER:  Here's one -- nine pence.
 DEAD PERSON:  I'm not dead!
 MORTICIAN:  What?
 CUSTOMER:  Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
 DEAD PERSON:  I'm not dead!
 MORTICIAN:  Here -- he says he's not dead!
 CUSTOMER:  Yes, he is.
 DEAD PERSON:  I'm not!
 MORTICIAN:  He isn't.
 CUSTOMER:  Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
 DEAD PERSON:  I'm getting better!
 CUSTOMER:  No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
 MORTICIAN:  Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
 DEAD PERSON:  I don't want to go in the cart!
 CUSTOMER:  Oh, don't be such a baby.
 MORTICIAN:  I can't take him...
 DEAD PERSON:  I feel fine!
 CUSTOMER:  Oh, do us a favor...
 MORTICIAN:  I can't.
 CUSTOMER:  Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes?  He won't
     be long.
 MORTICIAN:  Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
     today.
 CUSTOMER:  Well, when is your next round?
 MORTICIAN:  Thursday.
 DEAD PERSON:  I think I'll go for a walk.
 CUSTOMER:  You're not fooling anyone y'know.  Look, isn't there
     something you can do?
 DEAD PERSON:  I feel happy... I feel happy.
     [whop]
 CUSTOMER:  Ah, thanks very much.
 MORTICIAN:  Not at all.  See you on Thursday.
 CUSTOMER:  Right.
     [clop clop]
 MORTICIAN:  Who's that then?
 CUSTOMER:  I don't know.
 MORTICIAN:  Must be a king.
 CUSTOMER:  Why?
 MORTICIAN:  He hasn't got shit all over him.

 Scene 3

     [clop clop]
 ARTHUR:  Old woman!
 DENNIS:  Man!
 ARTHUR:  Man, sorry.  What knight live in that castle over there?
 DENNIS:  I'm thirty seven.

 Continued in next message.

 *  "And now, for something completely different..."
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