Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Msg#: 1941 Date: 07-16-93 15:03 From: Rudy Boghina Read: Yes Replied: No To: All Mark: Subj: The Holy Grail.... 7/12 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Continued from previous message. [mooooooo] Jesus Christ! Right! Charge! ALL: Charge! [mayhem] GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother! [twong] ALL: Run away! GUARD: Thpppt! LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart! ARTHUR: No no, no. BEDEMIR: Sir! I have a plan, sir. [later] [chop] [rumble rumble squeak] MUTTERING GUARDS: ce labon a bunny do wha? un codoo? a present! oh, un codoo. oui oui hurry! wha-? let's go! [rumble rumble squeak] ARTHUR: What happens now? BEDEMIR: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! ARTHUR: Who leaps out? BEDEMIR: Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh and uh.... ARTHUR: Oh.... BEDEMIR: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden badger-- [twong] ALL: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! [splat] GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw. Scene 9 Pictures for Schools, take 8. DIRECTOR: Action! NARRATOR: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually. Now, this is what they did-- [tromp tromp] [slash] WOMAN: Greg! Scene 10 NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Robin.... So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels. MINSTREL (singing): Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin! His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off, And his feet-- ROBIN: That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot. DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom. WOMAN: Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. Now I've dropped my mud. ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou? MINSTREL (singing): He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who-- ROBIN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody really, I'm j-just um, just passing through. ALL HEADS: What do you want? MINSTREL (singing): To fight, and-- ROBIN: Shut up! Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really -- I, uh, j-j-ust Continued in next message. * "And now, for something completely different..." -!- ž RoseReader 2.10į P003789 Entered at [CRS] ž RoseMail 2.10į: CRS Online, Toronto, On. Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Msg#: 1942 Date: 07-16-93 15:03 From: Rudy Boghina Read: Yes Replied: No To: All Mark: Subj: The Holy Grail.... 8/12 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Continued from previous message. to um, just to p-pass through good Sir knight. ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not! ROBIN: Ah. W-well, actually I am a Knight of the Round Table. ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table? ROBIN: I am. LEFT HEAD: In that case I shall have to kill you. MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I? RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so. MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think? LEFT HEAD: I think kill him. RIGHT HEAD: Well let's be nice to him. MIDDLE HEAD: Oh shut up. LEFT HEAD: Perhaps- MIDDLE HEAD: And you. LEFT HEAD: Oh quick get the sword out I want to cut his head off! RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off! MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favor! LEFT HEAD: What? RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time. MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky, you're not next to him. LEFT HEAD: What do you mean? MIDDLE HEAD: You snore. LEFT HEAD: Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath. MIDDLE HEAD: Well its only because you don't brush my teeth. RIGHT HEAD: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea. LEFT HEAD: All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits. MIDDLE HEAD: Yes. RIGHT HEAD: Oh, but not biscuits. LEFT HEAD: All right all right not biscuits, but lets kill him anyway. ALL HEADS: Right! LEFT HEAD: He buggered off. RIGHT HEAD: So he has, he's scarpered. MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir Robin ran away ROBIN: No! MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled ROBIN: No! MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out Bravely taking to his feet ROBIN: I never did! MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat ROBIN: Oh, lie! MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin ROBIN: I never! Scene 11 NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Galahad [boom crash] [angels singing] [pound pound pound] GALAHAD: Open the door! Open the door! [pound pound pound] In the name of King Arthur, open the door! [squeak thump] [squeak boom] ALL: Hello! ZOOT: Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax. GALAHAD: The Castle Anthrax? ZOOT: Yes... oh, it's not a very good name is it? Oh! but we are nice and we shall attend to your every, every need! GALAHAD: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail? ZOOT: The what? GALAHAD: The Grail -- it is here? ZOOT: Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile. Midget! Crepper! MIDGET and CREPPER: Yes, oh Zoot! ZOOT: Prepare a bed for our guest. MIDGET and CREPPER: Oh thank you thank you thank you-- ZOOT: Away away vilatesses[?]! The beds here are warm and soft -- and very, very big. GALAHAD: Well, look, I-I-uh-- ZOOT: What is your name, handsome knight? GALAHAD: Sir Galahad... the Chaste. ZOOT: Mine is Zoot... just Zoot. Oh, but come! GALAHAD: Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail! ZOOT: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious! GALAHAD: L-look, I have seen it! It is here, in the-- ZOOT: Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality. Continued in next message. * "And now, for something completely different..." -!- ž RoseReader 2.10į P003789 Entered at [CRS] ž RoseMail 2.10į: CRS Online, Toronto, On.