Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 1006                                         Date: 04-15-93  09:38
  From: John Betmanis                                Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: Tax Time
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ


                           THE HUMAN SEXUALITY TAX



                  Some questions and answers about the HST.

    Q.) What is the HST?
    A.) The Human Sexuality Tax is a $1.25 surcharge levied on sexual
        relations between consenting adults.

    Q.) Why a tax on sex?
    A.) Because cigarettes and alcohol are already taxed to the hilt.
        Sex is the only central pleasure we haven't taxed yet.

    Q.) How do I pay the HST?
    A.) After relations you and your partner are each required to fill
        out a separate T69 Form and return it with a cheque for $1.25 to
        Revenue and Taxation Canada. The Forms are available at Post
        Offices, drug stores, and in the washrooms of many bars and
        dance clubs.

    Q.) What if I don't, uh,... get there?
    A.) The Tax only applies if you achieve climax. So relax, go to it,
        when you wanna do it. Relax, when you wanna come.

    Q.) What if I like little boys?
    A.) The HST applies only to consenting adults. Pedophiles and
        necrophiliacs are not required to pay the tax. Zoopheliacs and
        gerbil enthusiasts are also exempt.

    Q.) What about Safe Sex?
    A.) Health and Welfare Canada advises the use of a condom to prevent
        sexually transmitted diseases. If you use a condom, you are
        eligible for an HST rebate equal to 40% of its cost. Retain the
        receipt and the used condom, and enclose both with your Federal
        Income Tax Return to receive the full rebate.

    Q.) I'm from Quebec, do I pay more?
    A.) No, in fact you pay less. The HST is regionally adjusted to
        account for social-cultural variation in the frequency in sexual
        relations. Persons from Etobicoke, for example, are required to
        pay an additional $o.17 per encounter to make up for their lack
        of activity. Similarly, residents of Gaspe Bay may deduct $0.76
        from their payment.








                              A Story About The

                                   GST TAX



    One day about a month ago, Brain Mulroney, Prime Minister of Canada
    was looking for a " call girl". He found three such ladies in a
    local lounge a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.


    To the blond Brain said,"I am the Prime Minister of Canada, how much
    would it cost to spend some time with you?"


    She replied,"$200 plus the GST Tax."


    He then made the same proposition to the brunette.


    Her reply was,"$100 plus the GST Tax."


    Finally he made the same proposition to the red head.

    Her reply was,"Mr Prime Minister, if you can raise my skirt as
    high as my taxes, get my panties as low as my wages, get that
    thing of yours as hard as the times, keep it as high as the gas
    prices, keep me warmer than my apartment, and screw me the way you
    do the public with the GST, then believe me Mr. Prime Minister, it
    won't cost you a damn cent!"

-!-
 ž SLMR 2.1a ž My mind wanders....      Sometimes it does not come back.
 ž RoseMail 2.10į: <NANET 51-91-01> Haley's Comment, Innerkip 469-3028