Ä Area: N-COMEDY ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 550                                          Date: 04-22-94  18:48
  From: Rudy Boghina                                 Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: Same to you, bud!..  1/ 3
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ


                              VARIOUS INSULTS
                            ===================

 All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard 
 to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

 Any similarity between him and a human being is purely coincidental.

 At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too 
 fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

 Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

 Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the 
 world already without your working so hard to give us another?

 Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

 Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.

 Excuse me, have you been walking backwards today?  
 No? Funny, because all I can see is an asshole!

 Excuse me, here's a quarter.  Please go call someone who gives a damn.

 From the moment I picked up your book to the moment I set 
 it down I was in hysterics.  Some day I intend to read it.

 How's your wife and my kids?

 I can't believe that out of 500,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

 I admire you because I've never had the courage 
 it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

 I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, 
 I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

 I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

 I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire 
 someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

 I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you 
 on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

 I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

 I think you should live for the moment. But after that I doubt I'll think so.

 I would have been your father, but the dog beat me up the stairs.

 I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.

 I wouldn't piss in your mouth even if your teeth were on fire!

 I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, 
 you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!

 I'll hit you so hard you'll have to take off your shoes to shit!

 I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!

 I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

 I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

 I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your 
 company since I haven't had it yet.

 I'm really glad you are alive...if you were 
 not, I would be the ugliest SOB on earth.

 I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

 I've got a joke so funny it'll make your tits 
 fall off...oh, I see you already heard it.

 I've had a great evening, but this wasn't it.

 I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, 
 but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

 If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would've farted!

 If you could put your fingers in your ears, it might 
 stop all of that hot air from coming out of your mouth!

 If you didn't exist, you wouldn't be worth making up.

 Continued in next message.

 * Oh, you asked if I had a hard DISK?
-!-
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