From: Jokeshelp@jokes4u.com
Subject: Jokes4U Humor Ezine Thursday November 12, 1998

REAL Headlines:
*  Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
*  Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
*  Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood


"Yo mama so fat, we're all inside her right now."



You're a REDNECK if...
---
Taking your wife on a cruise
means circling the Dairy Queen. 

You ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin contest. 

You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law. 

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. 

You think the OJ Trial is a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. 




The Boston Dictionary
 For people learning to speak with a "Bawstin"  i.e Boston
 accent.  The following contains some of the better excerpts:
---------
 Pahty :  A place to go to drink and socialize - nothing to do with
 Mother Nature.
 
 ah:  The letter between "q" & "s."
 
 ahnt:  Sistah of your fathah or muthah.
 
 bah:  Serves beah and hahd likkah: "The train to Noo Yok has a bah cah."
 
 bayah:  Ferocious
 
 bon:  As in: "Where were you bon?"



Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," 
the divorce court judge said, " and I've decided to
give your wife $275 a week." 

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. 
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."



We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will
eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare ... 

Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this isn't true.