From: Jokeshelp@jokes4u.com
Subject: Jokes4U Humor Ezine Wednesday November 25, 1998


The World First Profession
-----
A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who
was the world's first professional.

The Doctor said "It must have been a doctor. Who else could have
helped with the world's first surgery of taking a rib from Adam
to create Eve, the first woman?

"No," said the rabbi. "It must have been a rabbi, since the L-rd
needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.

"Wait," said the engineer. "The world was created in 6 days from
nothing. Do you know what a master engineering feat that must have
been to create the whole world into an orgnanized civilized place
from utter chaos?"

"Yes, but who created the chaos?" asked the lawyer...




Children's Letters to God
------------------
Dear GOD,

Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
---------

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
------------------



A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each kid
in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the
rest:

* Better Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader.

* It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.

* Strike While The... Bug Is Close.

* Never Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites.

* You Can Lead A Horse To Water But... How?



THERMOS
-----
 A blond woman walks into a store.  Curious about a shiny object, she
 asks, "What is that?"

 The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."

 The blond then asks, "What does it do?"

 The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."  So she
 buys one.

 The next day, she brings it to work with her.  Her boss, also a blond,
 asks, "What is that shiny object?"

 She replies "It's a thermos."

 He asks, "What does it do?"

 She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

 He then asks, "What do you have in there?"

 "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."



Comprehending Engineers
*****
 What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
targets.