Ä Area: A-Jokes ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 76                                           Date: 05-20-93  21:34
  From: Sandy Illes                                  Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: YET MORE JOKES!!!
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

A fellow was rushing through Washington National Airport one day,
hurredly trying to make a connection at a distant terminal. Not seeing
a clock anywhere, and wondering if he still had time to make his
connection, he asked a man carrying a large, heavy suitcase in each
hand. "Excuse me," he asked, "could you tell me the time, please, I'm
afraid I'm about to miss a plane."
"What's your flight number?" the man asked.
"307 to Dallas" he responded.
The man set down his suitcases, pressed some buttons on his watch, and
 announced "Your flight has been delayed 30 minutes. You have plenty of
time."
"You got that information from your watch!?" the fellow asked, amazed.
"Why, yes, this is an invention of mine. It's connected to every major
data base in the world, and gives me up to the minute data on
everything from stock quotes to the National Weather Service."
"I would like to buy that watch. Just name your price!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that. You see, I've spent many years developing
 this watch, and it's my intention to give it to my son as a gift." the
man said.
"I'll give you $5,000 on the spot." the fellow replied, anxiously.
"I'm sorry," the man responded "as I said, this watch is meant to be a
gift for my son."
"Alright," the fellow countered, "make it $10,000...cash!"
"You're very generous, but I must insist. I simply can't sell this
watch!"
"Sir," the fellow replied, "you drive a hard bargain, but I'm a very
wealthy man. I'm prepared to give you $50,000 for that watch, here and
now. For that kind of money, you could build another one just like it
for your son. Now, what do you say?"
"Well....er, um....I guess you have a point. Okay, the watch is yours."
And with that he unbuckled the watch and handed it over. With a
satisfied grin the fellow put the watch on, transfered the funds and
started to walk away.
"Just a minute," the man said, holding out the two large and heavy
suitcases, "don't you want the batteries?"

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==
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   A man arrives at the gates of heaven.  St.  Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Episcopalian".  St.  Peter looks down his list, and
says, "Go to room 24.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".
   Another man arrives at the gates of heaven.  "Religion"?
"Baptist".  "Go to room 18.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".
   A third man arrives at the gates.  "Religion"?  "Jewish".  "Go to
room 11.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".  The man says, "I can
understand there being different rooms for different religions, but
why must I be quiet when I pass room 8"?
   St.  Peter tells him, "Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they
think they're the only ones here".
-!-
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