Ä Area: N-COMEDY ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 225                                          Date: 04-01-94  06:55
  From: Cheryl Penner                                Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: 5 things a woman should n
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@SUBJECT:5 things a woman should never ask                           N
According to Sassy Magazine a woman should never ask a guy:

1. what are you thinking?
2. do you love me?
3. do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. what would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer
properly, which is to say dishonestly.  For example:

1. What are you thinking?
The proper answer is "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.  I was just
reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent,
beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you".
Obviously this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy
was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of 5 things:
a- baseball  b - football  c - how fat you are  d - how much prettier
she is than you   e - how he would spend the insurance money if you died
f - (from Al Bundy)" If I wanted you to know,I'd be talking instead of
thinking"

2. DO YOU LOVE ME?

The correct answer is yes, or yes dear.
Wrong answers include:  a - I suppose so   b - would it make you feel
better if I said yes? c  - that depends on what you mean by "love"
d - does it matter  e - who me

3. DO I LOOK FAT?

The correct answer is No, of course not and quickly leave the room.
Wrong answers include:  a - I wouldn't call you fat, but i wouldn't
call you thin either   b -  compared to what?   c - a little extra
weight looks good on you   d - I've seen fatter   e - Could you repeat
the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy

continued....
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