Ä Area: A-Jokes ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
  Msg#: 77                                           Date: 05-20-93  21:35
  From: Sandy Illes                                  Read: Yes    Replied: No 
    To: All                                          Mark:                     
  Subj: .... JOKES (CONT'D)...
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

      An Alabama couple was perplexed about all the ruckus they would
      create amongst their family if they got a divorce.  So they went
      to thier preacher and asked, "If you get married in Alabama and
      divorced in Georgia does that mean you are still brother and
      sister???"


Well, David Koresh is going to go down in the annals of psychiatric
history.  He's the first person ever to have a 1400 acre Messiah
complex.

I can't believe that the FBI, with all its resources, didn't know what
would happen once they sent the tanks in.  After all, even a
first-year medical student knows that a compound fracture is always
followed by an inflammation.

How do you pick up a Branch Davidian woman?
With a dust-buster

What did God say to David Koresh when he met him?
Well done.

What is the new Branch Davidian holiday?
Ash Monday.

WACO CRISPS (tm)
Tangy Self-Fried Zealots
_Now flavored with spicy pepper gas!_

Waco Crisps (tm) . . . a tempting taste-treat containing a healthy
blend of gun nuts, battered and smoked kid, and chunks of genuine
imitation Lamb of God.

Another quality snack the makers of MOVEable Feasties and Jonestown
Jambalaya.

Washington, DC
Special Features
UPI - tony j. podrasky (tonyp@convex.com)

In what's being hailed as a blow against smoking reform and keeping
cigarettes out of the hands of babes, MAMA (Mothers Against Most
Anything) and DAMMIT (Dads Against Mad Mothers Involving Them) are
livid over the court's decision to allow the Camel Cigarette Company
to continue using its "Joe Smooth" character in the advertisements.

Judges Ima Bought and Stew Ped ruled in favor of the cigarette
company, saying that it was indeed within the prerogative of the first
amendment "freedom of speech" for the company to use any logo it cared
to.

When asked by reporters how they felt about the decision, Ken Sur of
TSAR (Tobacco Smokers Against Reform) replied that "we're pretty happy
with the decision" and that "with this out of the way we can get on
with the business of marketing our new product lines".

The new product line is aimed at the "adults who think like the
younger generation", and consists of "Masters of the Universe
regulars", "Cabbage Patch menthol", "My Little Pony 100's", and "SMURF
chewing tobacco".

Another unique feature of the new product line is that now, instead of
coming 20 to a pack, the cigarettes will be 2 to a box, include
trading cards, and come with a "clorets" to get that nasty smell off
your breath before you get home.

Introductory pricing will be equivalent to the money tendered for 2
deposit bottles.
-!-
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