From mmmoshko@learn.senecac.on.ca Thu Jan 30 20:28:38 1997 Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 20:09:37 -0500 (EST) From: Matee Graphics Server To: mmmoshko@wildstar.net Subject: The Personals....Oy! (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 22 Jan 1997 13:47:45 -0500 From: MEIR BALOFSKY To: Multiple recipients of list CHAT94 Subject: The Personals....Oy! (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 22 Jan 1997 18:53:00 +0200 (IST) From: Ahuva Jesin To: Meir Balofsky Subject: The Personals....Oy! (fwd) Thought you might get a kick outta this; I got it from Zahava. All my love, Ahuva ********************************* ODE TO A TREE I SAW WHILE DRIVING ON HIGHWAY 407 TO INDIANA Nobody cares About bartlett pears ********************************* ---------- Forwarded message ---------- >>>Jewish Personal Ads >>> >>> >>> Your place or mine? Divorced man, 42, with fleishig dishes only. >>> Seeking woman with nice milchig set. Object macaroni. POB 77. >>> >>> Professional Jewish athlete, winner of Davis Cup, America Cup, >>>Stanley >>> Cup. Seeking non-Jewish woman. Goyishe Cup. POB 58. >>> >>> Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires >>>female >>> companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, krechtzing. Under 30 is also >>> OK. POB 64. >>> >>> If you can't stand the heat, get out of the blech. Heimishe >>>balabusta, >>> 39, will cook you such a tzimmes. Hurry, it's getting cold. POB 96. >>> >>> Eh, shalom aleichem... So maybe you want to meet me, although all >>> right, you probably don't. Nu, so if you change your mind, maybe >>>epess >>> you'll write me, but if not, it's OK, I understand. My name is >>>Shaya >>> >>> Bochur. POB 55. >>> >>> Successful orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee Stadium. >>>No >>> Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s'firah. Seeking wife. POB >>>41. >>> >>> Matzo supplier, 53, seeks cloth bag manufacturer. Let's play "Hide >>>the >>> Afikomen." POB 67. >>> >>> Agnostic dyslexic insomniac male, seeks similar female to stay up >>>all >>> night to discuss whether or not there really is a DOG. POB 83. >>> >>> Conservative rabbi, 45, I count women for the minyan and call them >>>up >>> to the Torah. Seeking female to make aliyah. POB 50. >>> >>> Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, >>>Taanis >>> Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks >>> companion for living life in the "fast" lane. POB 90. >>> >>> Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in >>>woman. >>> POB 43. >>> >>> Israeli woman, 28, works behind falafel counter in pizza shop, >>>looking >>> for Jewish man with sense of humus. POB 789. >>> >>> You're probably wondering why an accomplished PhD, LLB, MBA, DDS, >>>MD, >>> and Rhodes Scholar like me isn't married yet. I'm a meeskite. POB >>>766. >>> >>> Very pretty, slim, lulav would like to meet fragrant, squeezable >>> esrog. Let's do hoshanas together. Pitum a must. POB 677. >>> >>> Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74. >>> >>> I've had it all: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and four >>>of >>> >>> the ten plagues. Now I'm ready to settle down. So where are all the >>> nice Jewish men hiding? POB 68. >>> >>> Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB >>>78. >>> >>> Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last week? >>>You >>> excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but >>> you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one >>>with >>> >>> the cholent stain on my tie). POB 766. >>> >>> Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest. Doesn't >>>believe >>> women should be treated like a piece of meat. Seeks glatt kosher >>>maydl >>> for marriage. POB 99. >>> >>> Kiss me, kiss my mezuzah. Sincere Jewish female, 29, looking for >>> honest, hard working, observant Jewish zivig to share Shabbos, yom >>> tov, mikvah. POB 322. >>> >>> Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of >>> dybbuks, seeks mench. No weirdos, please. POB 56. >>> >>> Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will >>>accept >>> >>> my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget >>>it. >>> >>> POB 435. >>> >>> Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah >>> candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB >>> 787. >>> >>> Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. >>>Looking >>> for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555. >>> >>> Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it >>> for eight days. Who knows? POB 43. >>> >>> 80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, >>> under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545. >>> >>> I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to.. >>>Share >>> your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll >>> understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86. >>> >>> Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. >>> Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53. >>> >>> Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, >>>track >>> and field. Has slight limp. POB 76. >>> >> >> >> >> > > >