Ä Area: N-Comedy ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Msg#: 1126 Date: 04-25-93 19:47 From: Bill Snell Read: Yes Replied: No To: All Mark: Subj: For John Betmanis ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ John lent me some book and I came across a letter he wrote to his ex-wife and her answer to him....... This should be shared by all From John:::::: To My Darling Wife:: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have suceeded 36 times, which is an average of about once every 10 days. (AND WE ALL THOUGHT JOHN DIDN'T HAVE IT IN HIM.) The following is a list of why I didn't suceed more often 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 15 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be asleep 3 times you said the neighbours would hear us 22 times you had a headache 7 times you were sunburned 9 times you said your mother would hear us 43 times you weren't in the mood 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 6 times you were watching the late show on TV 6 times you didn't want to mess your hair 16 times you were two sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month, and 19 times you had to get up too early Of those 36 times I did suceed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I had finished, and once I was afraid I hurt you because I felt you move. To the above John's wife replied::: To My Dear Husband I think you have things a little confused. Here are the real reasons you didn't get more than you did......... 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 36 times you didn't come home at all 21 times you didn't come 33 times you came to soon 19 times you went soft before you got in 10 times your toes were in a cramp 38 times you worked to late 129 times you had to get up early and play golf 2 times you got in a fight and got kicked in the balls 4 times you had a cold and your nose kept running 3 times your coffee was too hot and you burnt your tongue 2 times you had a splinter on your finger 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day 98 times you were too busy watching football on TV, and 6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you missed and tore the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?". The time you felt me move was because you passed gas and I was trying to breathe............ Oh such is the life and times of John Betmanis...... -!- ž SLMR 2.1a ž I like my PS/1. It's almost as good as a real computer. ž RoseMail 2.10į: Haley's Comment, Innerkip 469-3028 Ä Area: Comedy Corner ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Msg#: 205 Rec'd Date: 05-20-93 22:55 From: Salim Balolia Read: Yes Replied: No To: Marc Scheide Mark: Subj: SCHOOL JOKES ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Well I have alot of jokes and I'm the comedian of my school. So you want to make a file for people to download eh? Tell you what I'll use your joke (Phantom) and my other jokes and I'll put way lot more then I'll up'l onto this board. Then you can dn'l and laugh over it okay? -> I like that paper airport joke!~ I actually made one during class but it came out weird. This file will be based on school jokes only. It will take my a month or so to make atleast 2 meg file. I'll update you with my latest files so you know what it's like... HEre a quicky.. Things to do in a study hall - not including studying 1) Begin digging a escape tunnel under your desk. 2) Be a clock watcher. See if you can figure out how long it takes for the second hand to make one complete revolution. Now do the same for the first hand. 3) Index all the names carved or written on your desk in a desending order. 4) Reach from your bottom of your desk and start a chewing gum collection. 5) Read a comic book and if the teacher says anything tell him/her that your doing a report on American POP art. 6) REad a skateboard mag and if the teacher says anything tell him/her that your doing a report on transportation. 7) When you ask to go the the washroom don't tell him which one your going into. Then go to the one inside the Thunder Mountian at Canada's wonderland. Well marc times running out I'll be back! Later Cool Mo Dee