From:	Justine [SMTP:JustineT@email.msn.com]
Sent:	Friday, October 16, 1998 4:39 PM
To:	Anthony Morris; Barbara Tweyman; Doron Barkai; Elyza  Litwin;
Hana Erez; Niv Erez; FIONABAG; golfpro1@geocities.com; Vijay Jain;
Jerry Katzman; Martin Katzman; Michelle Volgyi; Gershon Srubiski;
STANLEY TWEYMAN; tweyman@ERDA.GLENDON.YORKU.CA; Tzvi Erez; Tzvi Erez;
Julie Wilson
Subject:	Fw: Steven Wrightisms

A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with
battery?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then
what,exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up
with "Quit while you're ahead"?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when
I'm in the bathroom.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw
hamburgers?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask
them what time it is?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do
the other trees make fun of it
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near
miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of
progress?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing
liquid contains real lemons?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?